God is clearly the reason for the change…it is just AMAZING to me the journey He chose to do it. You are acutely aware that though the intention and established purpose of going on a trip like this is to serve others for God’s glory, you will inevitably be affected and transformed as well. However, I could have never foreseen the transformation that has taken place.
Reflecting back on this experience I could rave about the team and the servant’s hearts each member displayed in their willingness to step up to whatever need was presented (as well as the relationships we have sustained while back home)…or tell the stories of the MANY laughs we had (thank you Andrew and Sinethemba)…or remember the moment I shared with one of the most reserved and guarded Academy students that I had received her prayer card and had been praying for her for the past year – her face lit up as she gave me the biggest hug…or share the many stories of the Academy students and OVC kids…because each one of those memories is something I will treasure and carry with me! But at this moment, what is predominantly on my heart is God’s Truth that prayer and service (two of the Spiritual Disciplines’ lessons that I prepared for the trip – hehe J go figure) sustain and transform us for God’s glory and for His purpose. Prayer is what bound our team together and sustained us each day! It is what made the experience what it was…an opportunity to pour out love and reflect Christ in the capacity He chose to use us in! Service in His name sets you free!
There has been a lingering cloud over me for years…going through the motions of life, but simply choosing to stop living. ”Survival mode” - keep breathing and press forward with the necessary everyday tasks. Grief puts you in survival mode, but there comes a point where you have a choice to remain there or start living again. I chose to remain there. God has walked patiently with me, poking holes, transforming my heart and mind to view life and loss through His eyes…but never finding the lasting joy in the suffering…never comprehending that that joy could be present in the midst of the suffering, rather than the lessoned learned on the other side. I have not experienced joy in the midst of suffering for myself (I am the lesson learner on the other side), but I can now say that I have witnessed it! A house full of ladies, and one gentleman, in Sweet Home showed me what this means. Through their suffering of TB, HIV, and various other ailments - organs shutting down, tumors, etc. – light shown in their eyes. An unmistakable hope and peace was present there. We were there to pray over them and to love on them…yet their light as they faced such physical, mental and emotional suffering ministered to us! How fitting that the ladies of the Sewing Business chose the name “Ilitha le Sweet Home – Light of Sweet Home.”
A servant’s heart is ALL about others...setting aside your wants, desires, sometimes even needs, to elevate another to the glory of God. We are called to serve and should out of obedience, but we should strive for more. Obedience is how we show our love to the Lord, but the action of the service is how we show His love to those being served. And isn’t that the point…to show His love that they might be saved according to His purpose? It is SO NOT about us! And yet, the blessing God chooses to allow us, that part He lets us play in His story, fills us with His hope and His peace! He provides the understanding and unveils our eyes that we may see a glimpse of His intention! Wow He is SO AMAZING!!
-- Heather
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